The Self-Date Challenge: How to Build a Habit of Prioritizing Yourself

Taking yourself on one solo date is an incredible experience. But the real transformation happens when self-care becomes a habit, not just an occasional indulgence.

Many women I work with tell me the same thing: I know I need to take time for myself, but I don’t know how to actually do it.

They struggle with slowing down, listening to their needs, and carving out time for pleasure. They feel guilty. They tell themselves they’ll book that massage after work gets less busy. They’ll take a trip when they’ve accomplished something big. They’ll rest when they have a reason.

But what if you didn’t need an excuse?

What if you stopped waiting for permission and started treating self-care as essential, non-negotiable, and natural?

That’s exactly what I learned from my Montreal solo trip, and today, I want to help you build that same practice into your life.

Step 1: Schedule Time for Yourself—Right Now

If we don’t schedule something, it doesn’t happen.

So right now, open your calendar and block off at least 30 minutes for yourself this week. It could be an hour, a whole afternoon, or even just 20 minutes.

💡 Not sure when? Look at your week and pick the first open slot where you’d usually scroll on your phone, zone out, or do “nothing.” That time is now your self-care time.

The only rule? This time is sacred. You wouldn’t cancel a work meeting or a doctor’s appointment. Don’t cancel on yourself either.

📅 Book it. Commit to it. Treat it as unmovable.

Step 2: Do Something That Brings You Joy—Without Guilt

When your self-care time arrives, do whatever you want in the moment—with one simple rule:

It cannot be productive.

It must be something that feels good, just for the sake of feeling good.

Not sure what to do? Here are a few pleasure-focused self-care ideas:

✔️ Take yourself out for coffee and order something indulgent.

✔️ Go for a scenic walk without a destination.

✔️ Watch a romantic movie alone with your favorite snacks.

✔️ Buy yourself flowers for no reason other than that they make you happy.

✔️ Indulge in a long bath with candles, essential oils, and a book.

This step is about learning to listen to your body and desires—without overthinking, overanalyzing, or making it productive.

When I was in Montreal, I fully let go of logic and followed what felt good:

✔️ I upgraded my hotel room simply because I wanted the luxury of a jacuzzi tub.

✔️ I dined alone with full presence, blocking out distractions and savoring every bite.

✔️ I wandered the city lights, not to get anywhere, but because it felt magical.

✔️ I took a long bath, listened to music, and went to bed when I felt tired—without checking the time.

And guess what? Nothing bad happened.

I didn’t feel lonely. I didn’t feel guilty. I didn’t miss out.

Instead, I felt deeply nourished, fully in tune with myself, and more at peace than I had in months.

Imagine if you could feel that way every week—not just on a special trip, but in your everyday life.

Wandering in Montreal

Step 3: Make It a Weekly Habit—And Keep Expanding

Once you’ve done your first intentional self-date, don’t stop there. Make it a weekly commitment to yourself.

If you start small, that’s okay. The key is consistency.

Here’s how to build your self-care practice over time:

💡 Week 1: Start with 30 minutes of dedicated self-care.

💡 Week 2: Plan a solo meal or coffee date.

💡 Week 3: Take yourself on a half-day adventure (explore a new part of your city, visit a bookstore, etc.).

💡 Week 4: Book a bigger self-indulgence, like a spa day or an overnight solo trip.

The goal? To become someone who naturally prioritizes herself—without guilt, hesitation, or the need for an excuse.

Why This Matters: Becoming a Human Being Instead of a Human Doing

For so many women, the hardest part of self-care isn’t finding the time—it’s feeling worthy of taking it. We are taught to always be doing—accomplishing, achieving, being useful.

And when we finally do slow down, we feel like we’re wasting time.

But self-care isn’t a waste of time. It’s the foundation of a well-lived life.

It’s how you reconnect with yourself. How you refill your energy. How you remember who you are outside of what you do for others.

Taking time for pleasure, joy, and rest is not selfish—it’s essential.

Your Challenge: Commit to Yourself Today

If you’re tired of waiting for permission to take care of yourself, this is your sign to stop waiting and start doing something different.

🔹 This week: Schedule 30 minutes for yourself—no excuses.

🔹 Next week: Block off more time and build from there.

🔹 In a month: Take yourself on a full solo date.

You don’t need to go on a weekend trip to start. You just need to start.

Because the more you practice prioritizing yourself, the easier it becomes to show up for your life fully, without guilt, exhaustion, or resentment.

Want more inspiration? Stay tuned for my next blog, where I share what it truly means to be a human being, not just a human doing.