How ‘Going with the Flow’ Became My Life-Changing Theme

Each year, I set a theme to guide my focus and intentions. In past years, I’ve worked on becoming more resilient, courageous, or mindful. But for 2021, I chose something radically different: “Go with the Flow.”

After years of pushing myself to achieve, plan, and maintain constant momentum, I decided it was time for a break. This decision wasn’t easy, but it was transformative.

Letting Go of Perfectionism

For years, my goals revolved around advancing my career, improving my body image, eating healthier, embracing minimalism, and even attempting zero-waste living. These goals often reflected my perfectionist tendencies, which demanded I do more, achieve more, and strive for constant improvement.

Then came 2020—a year that taught me to slow down. I learned that my happiness wasn’t tied to how many goals I accomplished, how productive I was, or how hard I pushed myself. Instead, I discovered the value of self-compassion and focusing on my mental health.

Silencing the Inner Drill Sergeant

One of my biggest lessons was learning to quiet my inner critic, whom I call the Drill Sergeant. This voice pushed me to take on more clients, keep my house spotless, and even optimize my self-care routines.

Instead of letting this voice control me, I practiced acknowledging its presence without giving it power. By choosing not to listen, I shifted my focus to what truly mattered: my well-being.

The Power of Doing Less

Slowing down doesn’t mean doing nothing—it means doing less of what drains you and more of what replenishes your energy. For six months, I challenged myself with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) exposure work to confront my fears of doing less.

Here were some of my worries:

• What if I become lazy?

• What if I binge Netflix for an entire week?

• What if I disappoint my husband or colleagues?

• What if the house isn’t clean?

By intentionally doing less, I discovered that these fears were unfounded. Slowing down didn’t lead to laziness or failure—it led to surprising benefits.

What I Gained by Slowing Down

As I embraced a slower pace, I experienced:

• Decreased stress levels

• Improved sleep

• Reduced screen time

• Better energy and diet

• Greater comfort with being present

  
  

Most importantly, I learned to sit with discomfort until it melted away, turning boredom into a positive experience.

Saying No Without Guilt

For the first time, I confidently said no to opportunities without anxiety or fear of missing out. Cutting out the noise of constant productivity allowed me to appreciate the beauty of a slower, more intentional life.

A Challenge for You

If you’re a perfectionist, overachiever, or someone who feels the constant need to be productive, I challenge you to embrace a year of “Going with the Flow.”

Start small by practicing your own exposure work:

• Say no to one unnecessary obligation.

• Spend a day without a to-do list.

• Try a new hobby for fun, not achievement.

  
  

You might be surprised by the peace and clarity that come from simply being.